Life
As you may have already guessed, today is Tyler's birthday, so please join us in wishing him many happy returns. Whereas we would normally use this as an excuse to post the most homo-erotic picture we could find, and turn his birthday into a cavalcade of gay jokes, this year we decided to do something special for Tyler's birthday, and we managed to convince the cast of Futurama to sing Happy Birthday to him.
Click on the link below to see the awesomeness in all its glory.
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Yo. Read the title. I just bought three games for a little over $40: Infinite Undiscovery, The Last Remnant, and Lost Odyssey. I don't know what compelled me to make it an RPG-day for me, especially since I have little time for video games in my life at the moment, but it was quite a deal.
The code is B2G1FREE, and it's good until Saturday. no comments
The argument between whose premium online service is better is somewhat fallacious. If you break down the features of the premium services, as well as their free counterparts, you'll realise the different strategies of Microsoft and Sony within the space. After the break, you can take a look at a table comparing all four services and how they stack up against each other.
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As you'll no doubt be aware, it was my 30th birthday yesterday, and in between bouts of crying, warm milk and rocking chair-induced sleep, I started to wonder about what life would be like if it were an RPG; or more specifically, what kind of status awards you would receive for reaching such a milestone birthday. Here are some of the ones that I came up with, but feel free to leave a comment if you can think of any good ones to add to the collection.
+1 Wisdom
+1 Hairy Eyebrows
-1 Attractiveness to women
+1 Back problems
+1 "Ooh, are those hard candies?"
-1 Dress sense
+1 Titanium hips
-1 Bowel control
+1 Fear of technology no comments
Yes, the man who has kung-fu-ed his way into our hearts (and our stomachs) turns.. umm… old(er) as we speak, at GMT +1. Please wish Steven happy birthday, because he does so much for the site. Did you know Steven actually recorded the last podcast by himself by recording 4 different tracks of him mimicking our voices? AMAZING. It's a real shame I didn't buy him anything. Real shame.
Knowing Steven, he's probably already out partying with Horseboy, Gerald Butler and Macbeth. Sorry, invite only. I would know because I wasn't invited. That's okay because in Easy Mode tradition, I baked you a penis cake. And this time, I wasn't tempted to eat the whole thing. Well, maybe just the tip. no comments
Whilst on my Xbox earlier, I stumbled across a promotion Microsoft are running this week, in which they are giving away a selection of arcade titles at reduced prices. Surprisingly, there are some really good games on the list, and the list itself is quite varied. The deal is set to run from the 16th to the 22nd of June, so you still have plenty of time to make the most of the offer. I personally picked up N+ and TMNT:1989 Arcade for 400MSP and 240MSP respectively.
As if that wasn't good enough, all of the titles from last year's Summer Of Arcade are also on sale, as part of the Deal Of The Week promotion. For anyone that's interested, a full list of titles, with before-and-after prices, can be found here, courtesy of Majornelson.com. no comments
I can't say I was surprised when Xbox Senior Vice President Don Mattrick lifted the veil (the veil being the shell of an Xbox 360 Original) to reveal a slimmer, sexier and sleeker new look for the Xbox at Microsoft's latest press conference at E3 2010. It replaces an ageing system that bears its mid-00's roots on its sleeve; organic edges, creamy white shell and circular motifs don't quite have the relevance and impact in the new decade. It's also worth mentioning its mechanical integrity. For Microsoft, the refreshed version hopes to at least alleviate (if not solve) the ubiquitous RROD, but also jumpstart the Xbox brand in an unprecedented gaming lifecycle. It's a tried and true strategy in the console wars, made prevalent by Sony's PS2 and inescapable by Nintendo's DS. While design may be only a piece of the grand puzzle, it represents the face of a new era in Xbox and for many, its first impression.
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"Oh, how cute! You can play Pac-Man on the Google.com home page!" Yeah, real fucking cool, you idiot!
FACT: According to sources like The Atlantic and Wolffram Alpha, the total accumulated time humanity spent on the cute time-waster was 4,819,352 man-hours and around $120,000,000.
So yeah... good one Google.
But it's cool. I didn't want that salt water internal combustions system anyways, guys. The next World War that comes along and wipes out a couple continents, I'll just rationalize the loss of life by telling myself "There was nothing we as a species could have done... I mean, we could never give up things like browser-based arcade classics to focus on world wide unity. Don't be crazy, Tyler!".
(Yeah I wrote this at work, SO?!) no comments
Name: Beyt
Occupation: Fighter
Realm: Lonab
Beyt has a nasty habit of killing every man he sees in sight. Raised in the realm of Lonab (which we all know to be populated by only women), he never met a man until he was old enough to wield his trusty duct-tape axe. By the way, you'd think that being raised by women would have made him a bit better at sewing his own clothes.
I'm dead serious, he kills every man he sees. Just look at the picture - he's resting his axe on the corpse of a poor sap that wandered into the wrong realm just a few seconds ago. And he's a great warrior, although his only weak spot are his eyes, which he keeps shielded by sacred glasses of protection. His killing has gotten out of hand, and he was recently expelled from Radlor University and forced back home to Lonab.
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Fact! Games are becoming increasingly robust. Open worlds are taking over as the norm in gaming, so much so that anything that's linear gets a bad rap. How many gamers were in a uproar over Final Fantasy XIII and its extreme linearity? Approximately one cubic butt-ton.
I have one small issue with creating open environments in games, which is that they often lack consequence. For example, I've been playing Batman: Arkham Asylum lately, where you have one helluva night on Arkham Island. There are some moments of tension, like when Commissioner Gordon is captured and you have to find and free him. As you race to find him before they start pulling out his fingernails and pubic hair (at the same time, mind you), the game's deliberate open world simply has too many options. Instead of jumping to the next area, I was tempted to scour Arkham's grounds for clues and secrets, all of which are placed there by the game to distract you. Any time you find a secret item or solve a riddle, you get experience points, which better prepares you for the battles ahead, so why shouldn't I find them all?
I've spent several key minutes - nay, hours - combing ridiculous places for stupid question mark icons. During that whole time, Gordon could have ended up fingernail-free, and there was no consequence for my tardiness. Sure, Batman would grumble to himself, "I've got to find Gordon!" every few minutes, but apparently, he could wait. I had secret treasures to find!
The same thing happened to me while playing the most-excellent Shadow Complex. I played it all the way to the point of fighting the end boss, and then took two hours off to explore the rest of the game's environment. That's a total tension-killer, son. I find this a lot in games, and it's annoying. Shouldn't the developers time these exploration elements a little better? Have a lull in the storyline and allow you to do your research at that point. The way it is now, I feel like I have too much freedom to do whatever the hell I want - which ultimately reminds me that I'm simply playing a "game" - and as games get more immersive, this isn't a good thing. no comments
